How do you measure a year?

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
 

One year ago today I wrote these words: "I am 30 pounds overweight, snack on junk at night after the kids go to bed, and tend to spend the last hour or more of my night crashed on the couch watching TV and surfing the internet. I make excuses why I can't get up in the morning to exercise and why I can't exercise in the evening..."

I was scared sharing "my word" for 2013 with the world.  I knew I had been at these crossroads multiple times over the past 10 years.  I had made the decision many times before to put my foot down, make a change and make better decisions for my health - to be DISCIPLINED.  What would it mean this time, what would it look like?

On that evening 365 days ago I shared a vision of where I wanted to be when I sat down and reflected on 2013.  "Three hundred sixty-five days from now as I am reflecting on 2013 I am sure there will be successes, I am also sure there will be times I tried and failed.  Ultimately I hope the vision I've been given of myself will be closer to reality and the discipline I incorporate daily for myself will allow me to be free from the burden of 10 years of failed promises."

How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year in the life?

 

Learning to overcome the chains of perfectionism.
Wading through the muck of old patterns.
Creating new habits and patterns.
Throwing fits about the "life sentence" I was dealing myself.
Celebrating early success.
Finding easy ways to eat healthy.

Getting overwhelmed.

Losing my focus.

Taking time to understand my story.

Learning how to forgive myself.

 

How do you measure, measure a year?
In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died
 

I discovered a deep truth about myself: That I had lived my life up to this point seeking praise from others.  I realized that the only way to make lasting change was to look inward at the person God made me and start to love myself. 

 

How do you measure, measure a year?

How about love?

Measure in love

 

I began to allow God to work on me from the inside.  God taught me how to actually love myself and forgive myself in a way that allowed me to have faith in my abilities again. I set a goal that I never would have set only months prior.  I started to love myself in a way that allowed me to push through adversity and injury and accomplish more than I had ever dreamed.

 

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

After being shaped and changed from the inside, I started to get outside reactions to the changes I had made.  I was focused inward so much, that although I was losing weight I just wasn't focused on the outward result.  My clothes started getting loose and I had to get new clothes.  People complimented and commented, and at first I was upset.  This was such a personal journey, such an inward change, that hearing other people comment on the outward changes, my body, made everything feel cheap and brought attention to me in a way that I wasn't prepared for.  After more processing and tears, I am learning not only to love the inward person I have become, but to also love the outward changes that others are noticing.  I am learning not to hide anymore.  I am learning to have faith in myself that I won't go back to where I was before.  I am still learning to take this journey one step at a time while also celebrating my successes along the way.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

How about love?

Let's celebrate

Remember the love

 

(Song writer: Jonathan D. Larson)

I am celebrating the start of 2014 without a weight loss goal and with confidence in myself.  I am "free from the burden of 10 years of failed promises" as I hoped I would be. I am thankful to reflect on the past, while at the same time looking forward to the next 365 days.  I am ready to settle in to a routine of health while at the same time challenge myself in new and different ways.

Stay tuned, because I am ready to GROW.